


Follow You Down

by lilacpages



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Body Worship, Bottom Michael, Coming Untouched, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff and Smut, Insecurity, M/M, Rimming, Top Calum
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-11
Updated: 2016-07-11
Packaged: 2018-07-22 15:37:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7444561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilacpages/pseuds/lilacpages
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s so stupid, because Michael <em>knows</em> these people are insignificant, and yet, he so easily allows himself to be persuaded by them. His mind races as he reads through the various criticisms, overanalyzing and coming to paranoid, disheartening conclusions that yeah, his voice <em>was</em> completely off and his guitar <em>was</em> out of tune and that all of these people are <em>right</em>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Follow You Down

**Author's Note:**

> So after ten million years I am back with literally the most cliché fic ever but I've always loved this trope and it gave me an excuse to write some disgustingly sappy malum smut so ...
> 
> Also with that being said, this is my first time writing full on explicit gay sex lmfao so hopefully it's not too horrendous. This was supposed to be like 4k max, I swear I don't know what happened (actually blame Jess bc she convinced me to add rimming, but still). 
> 
> As always, thank you to [Jess](https://archiveofourown.org/users/phanjessmagoria) for being my beta reader and for listening to me bitch about how hard it is to write boys boning each other lmao, you're the best girl <3
> 
> Title is from Follow You Down by Lights.

In the dead silence of the hotel room, Michael’s ragged breathing roars in his ears. The space around him is almost pitch black, save for the harsh light of his phone, illuminating his figure. The stark contrast doesn’t hurt his eyes though. They’ve already adjusted hours ago. That’s how long he’s been awake. That’s how long he’s been scrolling, fighting to keep the tears at bay as the ache in his chest and the lump in his throat continue to grow. 

He knows it’s stupid. He knows he shouldn’t have started reading the comments, shouldn’t have even opened his phone in the first place, but, like always, he couldn’t help it. He never can. 

And, like always, of course he regrets his decision. Because now he’s curled up into himself, knees pressed to his chest, trying to make himself small as he sits against the headboard of the bed. 

He doesn’t know how many times he’s been in this exact scenario. In truth it happens all too often, and Michael is disappointed in himself for that fact. He’s also disappointed that this situation seems to be inevitable whenever a particular feeling rears itself in him. 

The dullness seeps into his bones and envelopes his entire body. The tiredness with no end, the indifference towards every aspect of his life. Michael is all too familiar with it. It’s the feeling that always builds up inside after a few months on tour. It only ever seems to happen when he’s away from home, so he usually just chalks it up to the crazy schedule they’re all on. His job is tiring, but it’s not supposed to be this tiring, he thinks. In any case, just because he can pinpoint when it happens, it doesn’t mean he knows why. And it doesn’t mean he has any knowledge of how to stop it either.

Although, reading the hateful things people have to say about him and his band probably won’t help eradicate the suffocating sensation that’s looming over him. 

The worst part of this feeling is that it actually makes him believe the things people say. The more he reads, the more he agrees with it all. He’s always surprised by how cruel people can be, and it makes him feel even worse, makes him scold himself for being so naive. 

His shoulders slump as more tears well up in his eyes. He’s just stumbled across an entirely new page of comments, all of them regarding his band’s performance just a few hours ago. Michael didn't actually feel too happy with their performance, knowing there were a few things that definitely could’ve been improved. It certainly wasn’t their best performance ever, but it doesn’t make him feel any better to see huge numbers of people who agree with him, and who definitely aren’t afraid to voice those opinions out in plain sight for Michael to see. 

It’s so stupid, because Michael _knows_ these people are insignificant, and yet, he so easily allows himself to be persuaded by them. His mind races as he reads through the various criticisms, overanalyzing and coming to paranoid, disheartening conclusions that yeah, his voice _was_ completely off and his guitar _was_ out of tune and that all of these people are _right_. 

His eyes are stinging with fatigue now. He doesn’t really know how long he’s been awake, since the minutes all blurred together as his mind became preoccupied with his phone. All he knows is that a substantial amount of time has passed between when he first grabbed his phone and now. He had gotten tired of lying motionless and heavy, staring at the blank ceiling with his arm hanging off the side of the bed, so he kicked off the too hot blanket and sat up, eventually ending up here, cursing himself for being unable to stop scrolling. 

He really doesn’t know why he does this to himself. He’s so sick of it happening, but he just can’t stop. It’s sick and twisted, but during these moments, Michael almost enjoys having the feeling that he’s useless and insignificant validated.

It’s that thought that finally pushes the tears past his eyes and sends them racing down his cheeks. A sob is forced out of him, one that makes his entire body shudder, and the sound is rather loud in the quiet of the room. Michael quickly slaps a hand over his mouth to stifle the noise, scared for a moment that he’s woken Calum.

He glances quickly at his boyfriend sleeping next to him on the bed. He’s turned away from Michael, on his side, figure unmoving except for the subtle rise and fall of his chest, and Michael is grateful for it that at the moment. Even though Calum is fast asleep and unaware of what’s happening, Michael still doesn’t want to be seen like this, especially by Calum. 

He lets his head fall back against the headboard, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. A small sense of calm washes over him as he exhales slowly, but it doesn’t last long. Instead of being drenched in silence, like he wants, all he can hear are Calum’s steady deep breaths coming from beside him, and the sound makes him bite his lip hard to suppress another sob. 

It’s dangerous to think about Calum when he’s feeling this way, because Calum is the best thing that’s ever happened to him, and these people are making him feel like he doesn’t deserve him. They’re making him feel like Calum would be much better off with someone else, better off without Michael. Just the thought of being without Calum makes Michael’s body momentarily freeze with panic. 

He lifts his head and glances at Calum again before he has to gasp for air, the tears springing to his eyes again, intense and unrelenting. His phone slips from his hands and lands on the bed with a miniscule thud, the screen going black and finally surrounding him in total darkness. The pillows bunch up uncomfortably behind him as he sinks clumsily down the bed, face buried in his hands. He curls into himself, turning away from Calum and scooting himself as close to the edge of the bed as he can get, as far away from his boyfriend as possible. His small cries sound so loud in the limited space, amplified by the lack of other noise and he’s hyper aware of it. His face is half pressed into the sheets and his damp eyes are making the fabric wet. It feels cool against his heated skin and he doesn’t really like it. Regardless, he doesn’t move. 

Michael is trying to stay quiet as he draws air in shuddering breaths, but it doesn’t work, and he’s too distracted to notice the subtle shifting behind him of Calum turning to face him. 

“Michael?” Calum mumbles, voice small and groggy. 

The noise startles Michael slightly and makes him gasp brokenly, unintentionally letting out another small cry. He doesn’t react to his name being called, only curls up tighter and turns even further away instead, sniffling as he does. His throat feels tight and his face hot with something like shame. 

That response alarms Calum, and his voice sounds through the dark again, panic and concern laced through it. 

“Michael? Baby, what’s wrong?” 

He pushes himself up by his elbows and moves closer to Michael, struggling momentarily with the blankets. Michael feels a hand on his hip gently and he can sense Calum peering over him, trying to see his face in the dark. His body is pressed all up against his from behind and Michael’s phone is digging hard into both of their skin.

Calum reaches down and pulls it up. It must’ve gotten trapped between them when Calum’s weight had pushed the middle of the bed down. He unlocks it and upon seeing the page still open from before, immediately understands Michael’s tears. 

“Michael,” he says again, softly, sorrowful. Michael just lets out a little whimper, and it breaks Calum’s heart. 

No matter how many times he’s pleaded with Michael not to go looking for this kind of shit, he always does, and this is what always ends up happening. Calum absolutely hates seeing Michael hurt like this. He sighs frustratedly and turns off Michael’s phone, reaching over Michael to place it angrily back on his bedside table and flick the lamp on as well. 

The soft light floods the room and finally illuminates Michael’s figure. He’s still lying on his side, trying to make himself small as he hides his face in his hands. 

“Michael, look at me,” he speaks softly, gently pulling at Michael’s shoulder. When Michael doesn’t move and shrugs his hand off, Calum quietly adds a “please” and that’s when Michael finally uncurls slowly to lie on his back. 

His eyes are red and puffy and there are tear tracks down his cheeks. He stares up at Calum with wide, distressed eyes and Calum feels his heart clench painfully in his chest at the sight. He tenderly cups Michael’s cheek, rubbing away the wetness as he simply stares down at him for a moment, brows furrowed and mouth creased. 

He knows that Michael knows this is hurting him too, because Michael’s expression turns to one of remorse and apology as Calum gazes at him. It just makes Calum feel even worse about the whole situation. 

“Baby, don’t listen to them, please. You know none of it is true,” he says, staring deep into Michael’s eyes. He hopes Michael understands just how much he needs him to listen, to believe him.

“I-I know—” Michael starts, but stops himself when a few more tears well up in his eyes. “It’s just— **”** he sniffles again, unable to continue. 

“It’s okay,” Calum shushes him gently and brings his other hand up to brush Michael’s hair away from his face. 

He brings their foreheads together tenderly and closes his eyes. His hand is warm against Michael’s cheek and his fingers are running through his hair soothingly. Michael feels safe and protected with Calum this close, calmer than he’s felt all night. 

“I’m gonna show you, Mikey,” Calum whispers, a quiet determination in his voice. They’re so close together that Michael can feel Calum’s breath on his skin when he speaks. “I’m gonna make you see how wrong they all are.” 

He pulls away and looks at Michael intensely. There’s a hint of a scowl on his face, but mostly, his features are soft, filled with overwhelming love for his boy. 

Calum’s lips are on his then, kissing him with nearly everything he has. It makes Michael’s head spin and he doesn’t think he’ll ever truly get over the contrast between the softness of Calum’s lips and the fierce way he kisses him. Both of his hands are gripping his face now, sure and strong but gentle too, and a warmth spreads rapidly through him all of a sudden. 

Calum pulls away slightly, rubbing his thumb gently under Michael’s eye to dry the last of his tears before he moves back in, kissing him again. It’s even more heated this time, and Michael really does melt into it with how effortlessly their mouths move together. Kissing Calum is always amazing and Michael wonders for the millionth time how he got so lucky. 

The thought brings back his earlier doubts about whether or not he really deserves this, and a sick feeling settles itself in his stomach. It’s only there for a fraction of a second before Calum’s tongue is pushing into his mouth and tangling with his own. His body is a warm, heavy presence against Michael and it clears his head of everything except the boy leaning over him. Michael is so grateful for him.

Calum’s hands move from his face, out of sight above his head as his forearms come to rest on either side of Michael’s head. The blankets are kicked unceremoniously out of the way down at the end of the bed as Calum repositions himself, swinging a leg over Michael’s body to straddle him. He doesn’t stop kissing him through all the movement. If anything, he only grows more eager in the process. 

Calum’s properly on top of him now, their chests flush against one another and Michael can’t even deny that the simple touch has his breath picking up. That, plus the fact that he hasn’t pulled away to breathe in a while, too eager to keep his lips on Calum’s to worry about something as mundane as oxygen.

He finally does pull away, just before his lungs really start to burn, and when he does, Calum takes the opportunity to move his kisses to Michael’s jaw.

“I’m gonna show you,” he mumbles, over and over into the slight stubble there. His lips plant themselves firm yet soft along the outline of his face, dragging gently against his skin as he trails them up to Michael’s ear. 

“You’re so beautiful,” Calum whispers to him, breath hot on Michael’s skin and a little sticky once it cools. The sensation, plus the proximity of Calum’s lips to his ear, sends a shiver through him. Calum is so close to him, body crowding his space and Michael feels a little dizzy, but in the best way possible. 

He can’t help the little huff of breath he lets out when he feels teeth gently tugging at his earlobe. Calum presses one final slow kiss to the spot just underneath his ear before he’s moving down his neck. Michael’s hands come up to grip Calum’s sides, fingertips digging slightly into the bare skin. Calum is still warm from the blankets and it feels nice to the touch.

Calum’s lips are relentless at his neck and Michael tangles his fingers through Calum’s thick curls, keeping his head close. He doubts the boy will move anywhere just yet, with the way he’s biting at Michael’s sensitive skin to leave hickeys in every place he can reach, but Michael feels the overwhelming urge to keep Calum with him at the moment.He longs for the feel of their skin on each other’s, impossible at the moment because of the shirt he’d worn to bed. 

As if Calum read his mind, Michael feels fingertips pushing up underneath the hem of his shirt, and he startles a little at the touch. The thin fabric is pulled nearly up to Michael’s collarbones as Calum’s hands move further up his chest, and Michael whimpers a little in protest. The cold air is seeping into his bare skin and he feels too exposed suddenly. He’s always been a little apprehensive about undressing, never having been fully comfortable with his body, and with the way his emotions have gone off the charts tonight, he finds himself hesitating to let Calum see him in that vulnerable state. 

Calum senses this, as he always does with the little things about Michael, and lifts his head from Michael’s neck. He gazes down at him with a worried and confused expression and Michael knows that the first thought running through his head is that he’s done something wrong. He’s quick to shake his head and dispel those thoughts from Calum with a gentle hand on his arm. Calum glances down to where his fingers are still clutching Michael’s shirt and back up to the slight grimace on Michael’s face. Realization dawns on him and a pain swirls in his eyes. 

“Please baby?” he asks gently, skimming his thumbs back and forth over the soft skin of Michael’s hips as he waits for an answer. 

Michael pauses for a moment, biting his lip subconsciously and stares into Calum’s eyes. He finally gives him a little nod and a warmth spreads through him at Calum’s ecstatic smile. He leans forward and connects his lips to Michael’s for a deep kiss. Calum’s hand comes up to cup Michael’s neck and pull him forward into it. It’s an intense moment, even though it only lasts for a few seconds before Calum is pulling away, eyelids still fluttering as if waking up from a trance, and he’s gazing at Michael with pure love as his hands move back down his body. 

He helps Michael out of his shirt gently and then pauses for a moment to take in the broad expanse of skin revealed to him, sitting back on Michael’s hips and giving a little sigh of amazement. He notices Michael staring at him and he can sense that the boy is feeling too vulnerable, sense that he’s about to raise his hands to cover himself, and the thought doesn't sit well with Calum. He doesn’t ever want Michael to hide himself from him, and he absolutely doesn’t ever want him to feel ashamed of any part of his body. Calum adores Michael in every way, and it hurts that Michael can’t see why sometimes. 

He quickly leans down again and resumes his course along Michael’s neck, fingertips rubbing smoothly over the skin of his hips. The action seems to calm Michael, just like Calum knew it would, and he smiles slightly against Michael’s neck. He can still sense the tiniest hint of tension and discomfort in Michael’s body, and it sends a rush of determination through him. He wants this to be perfect for Michael, wants him to be in complete ecstasy tonight, so with that in mind, he grinds his hips down against Michael’s as he sucks a mark into the juncture between his neck and shoulder. Calum grins when Michael lets out a soft breathy moan and shifts underneath him a little.

He moves his lips further down Michael’s body, his hands sliding up to grip his sides gently as he licks and sucks at Michael’s collarbones. There’s going to be more marks on Michael’s skin than he can count tomorrow morning. Calum hopes each and every one of them will remind him of just how much he’s loved. 

Calum’s left hand ghosts upwards to trail over Michael’s nipple, just as his lips move down to do the same on the opposite side. He licks over it gently at first, gauging Michael’s reaction, and by the way Michael arches slightly off the bed and groans quietly, he figures it’s safe to continue. Calum swirls his tongue around it slowly, feeling it harden underneath his tongue, and rubs his thumb over Michael’s other nipple. They don’t do this often, usually in too much of a hurry to just get down to it,but Calum’s resolved to make tonight special, and that means taking his time and cherishing absolutely every inch of Michael’s body. 

“Fuck,” Michael sighs. One hand moves to Calum’s head, gripping his curls again while the other clutches weakly at the sheets beneath him. 

Calum hasn’t stopped his slow grinding against Michael ever since he removed the boy’s shirt and he can feel him getting steadily harder beneath him. Calum’s not immune either. The only thing separating their bare cocks from one another is the thin fabric of their boxers, and it’s torture because Calum’s so close to feeling Michael against him. Nevertheless, he doesn’t speed up no matter how many times Michael bucks up into him. It’s mostly subconscious jerks of his hips, but every time Michael does it, Calum tightens his grip on his waist and presses himself harder against him to cease his movements. 

“Cal,” Michael whines quietly. 

Calum looks up at Michael then, taking in the pleading look on his face, the way his eyes are hazy and his lips are parted slightly. He smirks at Michael and moves his mouth to his other nipple, dancing his fingers up Michael’s chest to mimic his previous position, only reversed. 

Michael’s head falls back against the pillows, a deep groan falling from his lips. It gives Calum a perfect view of Michael’s neck, and of the faint bruises already forming there. The sight makes Calum grin with pride. 

He finally starts moving his kisses down again, planting them across Michael’s stomach tenderly, like the skin there is the most delicate thing he’s ever touched. Michael’s tummy quivers a little as Calum’s breath fans out across his body, sending tingles all over him. Calum leaves a few more hickeys, creating a constellation of red marks, but mostly he just leaves as many open mouthed kisses on Michael’s skin as he can. Michael looks down and is just able to catch sight of Calum’s saliva glistening faintly on his pale skin when the light hits his body right. 

Michael watches as Calum finally reaches his boxers and nudges his nose along Michael’s length. He sighs at the contact, his dick twitching in interest, not fully hard yet, but definitely on his way there as Calum grips him through the fabric. His hand slides up and down slowly, squeezing gently every once in a while, and Michael lays his head back against the pillows in quiet desperation. 

Once Calum’s got him worked up enough, he tucks his fingers underneath the waistband and Michael holds his breath, his whole body on edge. Calum pulls Michael’s boxers off as slow as he possibly can, taking the time to place a chaste kiss to every new inch of Michael’s exposed dick. It’s warm underneath his lips and he can feel the solidness of it with each press of his mouth. It makes Calum’s own cock twitch a little in his boxers. 

Above him, Michael lets out a tiny breathy whimper every time Calum’s lips touch him. He sighs contentedly once the fabric is tossed over Calum’s shoulder onto the floor. Calum grips his thighs and pushes them open gently, settling himself in the newly created space. Michael is grateful that he’s finally going to get some relief, but his happiness quickly turns to exasperation once Calum completely ignores his hard cock. Instead, the boy leans forward and starts pressing light kisses to his hips. Michael squirms underneath him, but Calum holds his hips down and continues as if Michael hadn’t even moved. He rubs his thumb over the bone that’s jutting up slightly, as if to soothe Michael. 

Michael jolts a little when Calum nips at his hip before moving to his thighs. His back is arched slightly, a subconscious act, and he only realizes it when it starts to ache just a tiny bit. Calum’s warm hands slide gently up and down Michael’s thighs as his lips mark up the soft skin, and Michael lets the feeling overtake him. It’s such a sensitive area for him, so close to where he needs Calum most, but he always enjoys it when Calum takes the time to appreciate that part of him. It makes him feel special and cared for. 

He looks down at the head of dark hair between his thighs and his cock instantly leaks a little more at the sight. It’s resting hard and heavy against his stomach and Michael can’t help but whine at Calum once more. 

“Please,” he begs quietly. “Cal, please just do something.”

Calum gives him a quick glance, simply because of the noise, but doesn’t acknowledge Michael’s request beyond anything more than that. He sucks a particularly harsh mark into the middle of Michael’s right thigh, grinning against his skin slightly. 

Michael whimpers then, and the sound is not one of pleasure. He shuffles up onto his elbows and the noise and the jostling of his body alarm Calum. He immediately halts his actions, his eyes flicking up to Michael’s in concern and slight panic. He lifts himself up and moves to hover over Michael, placing a gentle hand on the side of his face.

“Baby, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” he asks, guilt seeping into him quickly and making his stomach curl unpleasantly. 

“I’m fine, I just—” Michael pauses to catch his breath, unaware of how flustered he’d really been until now. “I need you, Cal.”

He says it quietly, timidly, but the sheer desperation in his voice makes Calum’s body tingle. Michael’s staring up at him with wide pleading eyes and furrowed brows, lips turned down in a pout that tugs on Calum’s heartstrings just a little. 

A sigh leaves Calum’s lips as his shoulders relax, relieved that he hasn’t hurt his boy like he originally feared. He huffs a little laugh before leaning down and capturing Michael’s lips in a deep drawn out kiss, gripping the back of his neck gently. Michael arches up into it, desperate for anything Calum will give him at this point. The sound of their lips is wet as Calum pulls away, a little out of breath.

“‘M gonna take care of you, baby.” His fingers move to Michael’s cheek, thumb rubbing gently over the flushed skin. “You know that.”

Calum searches Michael’s eyes and when Michael leans up and kisses him again, a brief but ardent press of his lips, it’s more than enough to show that he believes him. Michael sighs into Calum’s mouth before they pull away, and calum can feel his body relaxing as he brings their foreheads together, closing his eyes.

“‘M gonna make this good for you,” he mumbles softly between them, and Michael gives a tiny nod against him. 

He smiles and presses another small kiss to Michael’s lips before moving back down his body. Michael sinks down onto his back again, spreading his legs a little wider for Calum as he lets out a deep breath. 

Calum stops before he’s situated in his previous position, hovering over Michael’s cock where it’s still resting untouched against his stomach. There’s a little puddle of precum glistening faintly in the light, and Calum leans down to lick it up before he kisses the spot gently.

His fingers come up to finally wrap themselves tenderly around Michael’s cock, and Michael lets out a breathy sigh. There’s a little pearl of precum leaking from the tip, and Calum gently swipes at it with his thumb, smearing it down the length of Michael’s cock slowly. 

It sounds a little lewd, but Calum has to admit that Michael’s cock is probably his favourite part of him (aside from his lips, of course). It’s just … pretty. That’s the only word that Calum can think of to describe it. He’s honest to God a little mesmerized by it, the colour, the way it fits in his hand, as he trails the pad of thumb softly up and down the vein running along it. Michael mewls quietly and the faint noise breaks Calum out of his appreciative trance. He glances up just in time to see Michael’s fingers curling softly around the bedsheets. 

He grips Michael’s cock properly then, tightening his fingers just a little to squeeze gently as he starts to move his hand. Michael’s breath catches in his throat as Calum strokes him slowly, smoothly twisting his fist every once in a while. He watches as the pale pink head of Michael’s cock slips through the hole of his fist a few times before he brings his lips to it. He gives it a little tentative lick first, to sort of brace Michael for when Calum wraps his lips fully around the head and presses his tongue firm against the underside. Michael’s hips give a little involuntary jerk, but he settles back into place without Calum having to intervene to keep him still. 

Calum sucks gently on the head while his tongue moves against it slowly, swirling around it and making it wet, dipping out every once in a while to tease the slit. Michael leaks even more and Calum flicks his tongue to lap up what Michael gives him. His hand moves in time with his mouth at the base of his dick, and Michael can’t stop his subtle squirming. Calum starts to move a bit further down on Michael’s cock, just enough to let his lips catch on the ridge of the head when he moves back up and it makes Michael whine breathily. His hand comes to rest on Calum’s head, not pushing him, just gently curling his fingers in Calum’s hair. 

Whenever Calum moves his tongue a particular way, Michael tugs on the roots of his hair, and it makes Calum smile just the tiniest bit around the cock in his mouth. Michael’s whimpers grow steadily louder and louder until he has to run his fingers through his own hair so as not to grip Calum’s too tightly. Calum takes him down a little more than halfway then, his lips tight around the shaft as he moves back up, still maintaining his leisurely pace from before. He repeats the motion over and over and the wet sounds of his mouth seem loud in the small room, but they’re nothing compared to the noises coming from Michael. 

He’s moaning softly with every drag of Calum’s tongue, little pleading whimpers escaping his lips in between. He can’t stay still either, can’t stop twisting from side to side slightly, back arched and hips unable to decide what he wants. He keeps pushing them up into Calum’s mouth and then digging them down into the bed to get away from him. Calum’s free hand is on his thigh, squeezing gently every time his back arches particularly high off the bed. 

Flustered and desperate, Michael chokes out something that Calum doesn’t quite catch. He releases his cock slowly with a wet little _pop_ and looks up at Michael, letting him take a few seconds to calm down and get his breathing back in check. He reaches for Michael’s hand and their fingers naturally lace together the way they’ve done a thousand times before. Calum can visibly see how Michael relaxes at the gesture, and he gives him a gentle smile before taking his cock in his hand again and then angling it into his mouth.

Calum takes him all the way down then, until the tip of his nose is brushing lightly against the skin of Michael’s hips, and the tip of his cock slips into the back of his throat. Michael’s hyper aware of it, of the way Calum’s contracting around him as he holds himself there for a few seconds despite the tears starting to well up in his eyes. 

When the subtle burn starts to seep into Calum’s lungs from lack of oxygen, he lets his lips drag back up the length of Michael’s cock slowly. His warm brown eyes are gazing up at Michael intensely, holding eye contact with him the entire time he moves. He swirls his tongue around the head one last time, making Michael hiss quietly, before he pulls off and gasps for breath. Michael’s hand is instantly right there, cupping his cheek comfortingly as Calum lays his head on his thigh, closing his eyes for a moment. 

His lips are wet and plump, stained a darker shade than normal from his efforts, and Michael thinks in that moment, they’re the definition of sin. He moves his hand from Calum’s cheek to his hair, gently carding his fingers through the soft curls and moving the unruly strands away from his face as the boy rests. Calum leans into the touch, nuzzling the side of his face into Michael’s thigh.

It startles Michael how quickly Calum goes back to it, wrapping his lips around him again before he can even ask if he’s alright. Calum sets up an alternating rhythm of shallow and deep, and it’s intense, every tiny detail heightened by Michael’s overwhelmed senses. He’s acutely aware of the slight tickle of Calum’s curls against his hips when he swallows him down and the split second puff of hot air that fans over his cock when Calum pulls off again. The boy’s eyes are glassy with unshed tears and his lashes are lying delicately against the tops of his cheeks as he sucks Michael off. He’s rutting subtly against the mattress, his own cock still confined to the fabric of his boxers, and Michael hazily registers that he’s gotten hard from blowing him. 

The realization forces a moan out of Michael. His body jerks under Calum’s touch and Calum has to flatten his palms against Michael’s hips to keep from choking. He mumbles out a slurred apology, or at least he thinks he does, because he honestly can’t be sure. His mind is too cloudy to process anything other than the tight coil of _need_ curling in his stomach, threatening to snap at any moment. His boyfriend is still relentlessly working him with his mouth and he whimpers loudly, turning his head to the side in a desperate attempt to ground himself. His breath is coming hot and fast, warming the fabric of the pillow and making his skin sticky in turn. 

“C-Cal,” he gasps out, whining shortly afterwards when his boyfriend gives no indication of stopping, or even of slowing down. 

Michael’s fingers curl and uncurl repeatedly in Calum’s hair, tugging on it every once in a while when Calum twists his hand or drags his tongue in a way that has Michael writhing underneath him, back rubbing against the sheets lightly. It makes Calum groan each time around his cock, and the subtle vibrations shoot through Michael's entire body and make him shudder. He lifts his head to stare down at Calum, noticing the sweat coating his body for the first time, and tries to tell Calum that he’s not going to last much longer. 

“Fuck, Cal, I—” Calum’s eyes flick up to meet his and the words immediately catch in his throat. 

Calum’s eyes are hazy and hooded with lust, struggling to keep from slipping shut, but his gaze is focused on Michael, and there’s encouragement in his dark irises. He knows exactly what Michael had been about to say, and he’s staring up at him like he _wants_ it just as badly as Michael does. 

It makes Michael’s mind short circuit as his body jolts forward, eyes still locked with Calum’s as a gasp leaves his lips. His head falls back against the pillows as he starts to come, and Calum just presses himself as far down as he can go on Michael’s cock. Michael’s hands fall from Calum’s hair to the bed, hanging limp by his side as his body trembles with the force of his orgasm. Calum holds himself right where he is, swallowing around Michael's cock as a broken moan leaves the boy's lips, trailing off into a breathless whimper as the last shocks of it run through his body. The wet sound of Calum’s throat and the deep breath he lets out through his nose afterward tell Michael for sure that he did it, swallowed Michael’s cum without a second thought. 

He doesn’t move off his cock, though. His lips stay wrapped around the head, tongue moving relentlessly until Michael’s squirming, gasping for breath that barely comes to him, body jerking hard from overstimulation. He has to physically pull Calum off him, the boy inhaling sharply while Michael breathes a sigh of relief. 

His body is sticky with sweat and hot all over, limbs loose and relaxed now that he’s finally had his release. He tries to keep his eyes open, wants to look at Calum when he comes up to kiss him, but it’s too much of an effort, so he momentarily lets them close. They shoot open not even a second later when he feels Calum’s warm breath fanning over his dick. He looks down to see Calum pressing soft chaste kisses along Michael’s sensitive cock, and he curls into himself a little more with every touch. Calum presses a final kiss to the head before crawling up his body, Michael panting softly as his boyfriend tilts his chin up to bring their lips together for a deep, languid kiss. 

Michael’s drunk off the feeling of Calum against him. His brain doesn’t have enough function at the moment to take in anything other than Calum’s lips against his own. Both of their fingers trace gently over the other’s body as they kiss slowly, calloused from their instruments and feather light against each other. They pull away at the same time, but Michael leans up and presses a few more quick kisses to Calum’s lips, which Calum eagerly returns because it’s like they both physically have to be kissing each other right now. 

When the last of their need to kiss each other is out of their systems, their breaths pour out into the space between them as their foreheads come to rest against one another’s. It’s automatic, like a reflex, ingrained into both of them now. Michael doesn’t think he’ll ever grow tired of being this close to Calum. 

Calum’s fingers come up to brush against the bruises on Michael's neck, the ones that are just starting to darken a little. He stares at them with soft wonder in his eyes and chuckles a little, shooting Michael a small smile when he looks back at him. 

“Do you feel better?” Calum asks quietly, and Michael chuckles lightly in response. He nods, biting his lip softly at the rush of warmth he gets while looking into Calum’s eyes. 

Calum feels it too, that much is clear when he breaks out into a wide grin and leans in to kiss Michael again. It quickly turns into more, both of them breathing deeply through their noses as their mouths move together. 

Calum shifts above him and Michael’s mildly surprised to feel the fabric of his boxers against his bare skin. He’d completely forgotten that he was the only one completely naked. He’s also suddenly reminded in that moment that Calum hasn’t gotten off yet, and that is a big problem in Michael’s eyes. He reaches down and presses his palm against the front of Calum’s boxers, and the boy moans softly at even the slightest contact after so long. He presses into the touch, more like an automatic reaction than a want though, because the next second he forcibly stops himself from moving against Michael’s hand. 

“What is it?” Michael asks, brows furrowing slightly in confusion. He grips Calum’s cock slightly and shoots him an innocent smile that completely contradicts his actions. “Wanna get you off.”

Calum shakes his head a little and presses a kiss to the corner of Michael’s mouth where a little pout has formed. 

“Don’t wanna come yet. We’re not finished,” he smiles cheekily at Michael and Michael whines a little. 

“Cal, I can’t, ‘m too tired,” he breathes, but it doesn’t faze Calum one bit. He just starts to press more kisses to his lips and jaw and neck. 

“‘S okay, baby, we’ll go slow. I know you can,” he whispers. He looks into Michael’s eyes for any apprehensiveness, and when Michael gives him a little nod, he smiles and kisses him yet again. 

He moves off of Michael then and walks over to their suitcases still lying open on the floor, not even a quarter of the way unpacked. There’s never any reason to unpack nowadays. They don’t spend more than two days at any hotel during tour. 

Michael takes the time to reposition himself on the bed, sitting up a little and moving the pillows around. He takes a deep breath, head still spinning just a little bit. 

Calum comes back a moment later and drops something on the bed beside him. Michael has just enough time to see that it’s a bottle of lube and a condom before Calum is climbing over him to tilt his chin up for a kiss. 

Michael finds himself clutching Calum closer in seconds, struck with that same sudden urge to have his boy close like before. It’s true what he told Calum, he does feel better, but there’s still a hint of melancholy that sits heavily in his chest. It’s hard to shake himself out of these moods when they happen, especially since he lets everything build up for so long before it all comes pouring out like this.

If Calum notices Michael’s sudden desperate clinginess, he doesn’t say anything, and instead matches it with his own. His hands grip Michael’s waist tight, chest flush against his as his lips press firm but gentle to Michael's, tongue swiping out over the boy’s bottom lip. Michael threads his fingers through Calum’s thick curls before trailing them down his neck to wrap around his shoulders. 

Calum’s content to stay here, kissing Michael slow and sweet for eternity, but his dick is still hard and trapped in his boxers. Despite trying his hardest not to, he can’t stop his hips from pushing down against Michael, sighing softly at the little sparks of pleasure that shoot through him when he does. He refuses to come until Michael has again, and Calum wants to be balls deep in him when that happens. Michael’s cock is lying against his hip, barely half hard now, but Calum can feel it giving little twitches of interest underneath him. He forces himself to stop moving even though his body practically screams in protest, because he knows that he could absolutely come just from rutting against Michael. He’s done it before. He lifts his hips up and away just for good measure, and the movement pulls their mouths apart slightly. 

Calum pants softly against Michael’s mouth before resting his forehead against his boyfriend’s collarbone for a moment while he clears his head. He lets out a breath against Michael and it must tickle a little, because Michael giggles and squirms under him. Calum grins at him and kisses the spot. 

He starts to move off of Michael, coming to settle in between his legs again, and Michael shoots him a curious look. Calum just winks at him and starts to trail his lips over the hickeys on Michael’s thighs, stopping occasionally to add a few more. He reaches up for one of the pillows on his side of the bed, unused at the moment, and prompts Michael to lift his hips. Michael questions him with a raised eyebrow, but Calum just taps his side again, and slides the pillow under Michael’s hips when he complies. 

When he’s sure that Michael’s situated comfortably, he moves himself to lay on his stomach again, tracing his fingers over the expanse of Michael’s thighs. Michael shivers just a little bit at the touch, and even more so when Calum follows the trail of his fingers with his lips. He drags them softly against his skin, lower and lower, Michael’s eyes growing wider the further down Calum moves, until his lips reach the skin of Michael’s ass. 

He rubs the pads of his thumbs against his cheeks slowly before he pulls them apart, blowing warm air over Michael’s hole. Michael lets out a strangled gasp and Calum gives him the tiniest of smirks before he presses a chaste kiss right over his hole. He has to tear his eyes away from the sight of Calum’s head in between his legs, because Michael thinks there’s a very real chance his soul will actually leave his body if he keeps watching. 

Calum flattens his tongue and licks slow and firm over Michael’s hole, all the way up to his balls. Michael’s hand curls into a fist and he quickly shoves it in his mouth, teeth biting down on his knuckle to stop the choked cry that still leaves his mouth anyway.

Calum’s tongue is warm and wet, lapping at him gently with small licks, and Michael can feel his cock chubbing up again. He spreads his legs a little further and Calum leans in more, pressing his tongue just a touch harder against his skin. He changes his pace so that his movements are languid and drawn out, and Michael shuts his eyes tight in an effort to gain some control over his body. Calum starts to follow a pattern, switching between long and slow licks and then small and quick, pausing occasionally to flick the tip of his tongue over Michael's hole. Michael has to press the side of his face into the pillows to calm himself, even though his breathing still grows heavier with every motion of Calum’s tongue. His thighs start to shake a little bit, Calum’s name falling from his lips in breathless whispers, and it only spurs Calum on even more. 

Michael’s pleading with him desperately, though he doesn’t even know what it is he’s asking for. All he knows is that Calum’s mouth is absolutely heavenly, probably the greatest thing on Earth if he thinks about it. 

Calum moves his thumb to his own mouth then, licking it once before bringing it to Michael's hole and beginning to rub small circles. His other thumb moves to stroke Michael’s hip, and Michael lets out a sigh at the contact, his body relaxing at the comforting gesture. Calum’s fingers are still keeping a tight enough grip on Michael that he can prevent him from moving too much and it turns out to be a good move on Calum’s part, because Michael’s body jerks at his next action. He’s kept up his caressing for a while and now Michael’s body is relaxed enough that the tip of Calum’s thumb slides easily into his ass when he pushes it in. Michael groans above him and Calum glances up to see his chest heaving with deep breaths. 

Calum moves his thumb away not long after that and replaces it with his tongue. His thumb was merely a precaution anyway, just to make sure Michael’s body was actually ready to be opened up. He licks over Michael’s hole with the tip of his tongue one final time before he gently dips it inside him. 

Michael gasps, short and clipped like he hadn’t been expecting it. It’s followed by a loud, drawn out whimper as he lifts his body off the bed and lets it fall back down in the same second. Michael’s head lolls to the side and he stares down at Calum as Calum pushes his tongue a little deeper, licking into him unhurriedly. 

Michael’s got his head pressed against the pillows, tilted up to the ceiling so that his neck is beautifully exposed, and the most sinful noises are pouring from his lips. A thought passes through Calum’s mind, and it’s the same one that occurs every single time they do anything sexual—Michael’s moans are the most beautiful sound in the world. 

It’s a mix of desperate whimpers and loud moans that are practically punched from Michael as Calum’s mouth moves against him. He draws in a sharp breath each time Calum dips his tongue inside him and lets outs little puffs of breath when Calum’s tongue slips out of him. 

He reaches down, intent on weaving his fingers through the head of thick dark curls between his legs and pulling, just so he can feel closer to Calum in this moment, but he hesitates when he looks down at Calum again. The boy is moving so ardently against him that Michael fears he’ll disrupt him if he touches him, and if there’s one thing he’s sure of right now, it’s that he doesn’t want this to end anytime soon. His hands hover in the air for a second, skimming over his thighs and chest briefly because he doesn’t know where to put them. He settles for bringing them above his head and carding his fingers through his own hair instead. 

His hips begin to roll up into Calum’s mouth seemingly of their own accord, and the overwhelming desire for _more_ spreads through him. He needs to be fucked, and he’s so far gone at this point that he doesn’t care if it’s only on Calum’s tongue tonight.

Calum pulls back just enough so that he can suck on the rim of Michael’s hole and Michael moans, loud and whimpery, shocked at the action and his own response. He slaps a hand over his mouth in embarrassment and catches Calum’s eye as the boy smirks up at him. He watches as Calum shifts himself a little bit further down the bed, doesn’t miss how his eyes flutter closed for a second when his cock rubs against the mattress, and repositions his hands on Michael’s ass. He grips his cheeks and pulls them apart, staring in admiration before moving in again and licking a slow firm strip over him. Michael’s ass is so wet now, so coated in Calum’s saliva, that it drips down between his cheeks onto the pillow beneath, turning the white fabric just a touch darker. A sob leaves Michael’s lips, muffled by the hand over his mouth, and his eyes slip shut in pleasure. 

His cock is lying fully hard against his stomach once more, and it aches to be touched. Michael doesn’t want to give in to that need just yet, wants to wait until he’s got his legs wrapped around Calum’s back and his cock deep inside him, but he needs to do something about it or else he’s going to blow it pretty soon. Calum’s got him beyond worked up, and while he doesn’t want to stop, he doesn’t think he could handle coming three times tonight. 

The dilemma leaves Michael lost in thought, so much so that he doesn’t even notice Calum grabbing the bottle of lube beside him on the bed. His mouth doesn’t move more than two inches away from Michael’s ass as he flicks the cap open and pours the lube out onto his fingers, rubbing it between them to warm it up a little. The faint clicking noise is drowned out by Michael’s heavy breaths, his chest moving steadily and eyes shut as he lies like dead weight against the pillows. His mind is so clouded with lust and exhaustion that he doesn’t even realize that Calum’s tongue has left him until it returns, warm and wet and firm against his balls. It pulls a gasp out of Michael and he instinctively reaches down to grip Calum’s hair, albeit a little too hard. 

If Calum minds, he doesn’t react at all, just continues licking softly over Michael’s balls and stopping to leave yet another hickey on his thigh as he brings his fingers up to Michael’s hole. He rubs them slowly between his cheeks, slicking him up and teasing him just a little before he pushes his forefinger inside. It’s met with practically no resistance with how much attention Calum’s given him, and Michael groans. His fingers slip from Calum’s hair and his head falls back while Calum starts to move his finger in and out gently. 

The first few drags of Calum’s finger send sparks shooting through Michael’s lower abdomen and he squirms from the feel of it. His breath comes in quick little puffs until his body adjusts a little. Calum moves his finger slowly, but Michael still has to bite his lip to hold back tiny whimpers. Calum’s biting his lip too, though it’s not for the same reason as Michael. His brows are furrowed in deep concentration, eyes flicking between his hand and Michael's face to gauge his reaction. It brings a little smile to Michael’s face, how careful and cautious Calum always is, no matter how many times they do this. 

Calum’s hand comes to rest on the juncture between Michael’s thigh and hip and he presses lightly on it to raise himself from the bed. He tucks his knees underneath himself, sitting up, and his finger slips from Michael’s hole. Michael doesn’t even have time to whine at the sudden emptiness before Calum’s finger is pushing back inside him, coupled with his middle finger tracing up and down his rim leisurely. Michael is acutely aware of the stretch when Calum pushes his second finger in beside the first. His body flashes with heat for a moment and he can’t help the whimper he lets out then, nor can he even hope to stop his back from arching away from the sheets underneath him. 

Calum moves his fingers in and out gradually, sticking to a comfortable rhythm for the both of them, and Michael subconsciously spread his legs a little wider for him. The action doesn’t go unappreciated by Calum, especially since it gives him the silent confirmation he needs to continue, not that Michael’s breathless little whimpers and fingers twisting the sheets restlessly below him are indicating otherwise. Calum pushes his fingers in a little further and a smile tugs at his lips when Michael breathes out deeply through his nose and closes his eyes. 

He looks utterly at peace like that, and Calum can’t help but stare down at his boy in amazement, warmth spreading through his chest. He doesn’t realize his fingers have slowed their movements to practically nothing until Michael whines and digs his heels into the mattress, dragging himself down the bed so he can rock back onto Calum’s fingers himself. 

Calum shakes himself out of his trance, shooting Michael a sheepish half smile in apology before he resumes his pace. Even though it’s stupid, Calum feels bad for making Michael do even the smallest amount of work on a night that’s supposed to be all about him. Michael must sense his irrational guilt, always able to read Calum like an open book, because he whispers his name softly with a warm expression and reaches up to cup Calum’s cheek. Calum gladly leans into it, grateful for the contact and struck by the grounding effect it has on him. 

Michael’s hand falls back to the bed and that’s when Calum really sets to work. He carefully scissors his fingers open and Michael shudders, a breathy moan falling from his lips. His back arches up only slightly this time, like he’s actively trying not to move too much, and Calum moves his hand from Michael’s hip to his stomach, fingers splayed out and thumb rubbing over the skin there to calm him. Michael’s soft sigh of content tells Calum that’s he’s more than made up for earlier. 

He keeps his fingers moving, curling them absentmindedly every once in a while and watching Michael’s reactions. He keeps clenching down around Calum’s fingers, tight and hot even though Calum’s trying to stretch him out, and his dick twitches occasionally where it rests against his stomach. It causes Calum’s own dick to ache a little, and his mind to cloud over with an all too familiar haze. He keeps his hand where it is on Michael’s stomach, partly for Michael’s comfort since the boy has pressed his own hand on top of Calum’s to keep it there, but also for his own. Michael’s skin is warm under his touch and he can feel the muscles moving subtly underneath his palm and it makes him feel closer to his boy. It still amazes Calum how he can feel so perfectly in tune with Michael with just a simple touch. 

They don’t exchange any words as Calum repeatedly pushes his fingers in and drags them back out, but they catch each other’s eye a few times, smiling fondly at each other. Michael’s breathing is picking up and his whimpers are growing more and more pleading and Calum can’t look away. He can’t stop himself from staring down at Michael, basking in the sight and admiring all the little details. 

His eyes rake over Michael’s chest, heaving erratically with his uneven breaths; over his neck, veins tensing and relaxing depending on how he moves, the movements of his adam’s apple on full display as he swallows down his moans, mesmerizing Calum. He takes in the way Michael’s eyebrows pull together, the vibrant pink of his shiny wet lips, the thin sheen of sweat coating his entire torso. It’s so much, all at once, and Calum could live in this moment forever, he thinks. 

“So fucking beautiful,” he says breathlessly, looking into Michael’s eyes. The words rush from his lips without him even thinking about them, like they have to be voiced no matter what.

Michael moans softly at Calum’s praise and squeezes his hand a little where it’s still resting on top of Calum’s. Calum can feel that Michael’s loose enough for him to add a third finger now, so he crooks his fingers one last time. He rubs over something and Michael’s body jolts, lips forced open wide around a sharp gasp. Calum’s startled slightly by the sudden movement, but he instantly realizes what’s happened, and smiles down at Michael. 

Michael’s free hand shoots up to wrap around the base of his cock when Calum curls his fingers again. A broken moan is forced out of him and he raises his head to glance down at Calum’s hand between his legs, wide eyes flicking up to meet Calum’s afterwards. 

Calum removes his fingers for a second to add a bit more lube before he returns to Michael’s hole with three fingers this time. Michael groans quietly and closes his eyes at the stretch, but Calum immediately finds his prostate again, turning Michael’s groan into a soft whimper. His head falls back down when Calum starts to gently scissor his fingers open again, moving them in and out and pressing them against the spot that makes Michael squeeze his cock a little harder. His eyes are shut tight, muscles tense and back curved in a permanent arch. Noises perpetually pour from his mouth, small whimpers and desperate pleas and curses. His body jerks subtly underneath Calum’s touch every now and then. 

Calum crooks his fingers and Michael suddenly cries out his name. His left hand rushes from his cock to grip Calum’s still moving bicep, and his right lifts off of Calum’s to wrap around his wrist, squeezing it firmly. Calum slows his movements dramatically, realizing that Michael is about to come. Michael doesn’t say anything, just takes a deep breath now that he can, and Calum takes a moment to admire Michael, his gaze intense on his fucked out form. It’s quite an amazing sight, considering Calum hasn’t even gotten his dick in him yet. 

Michael reaches for him as soon as he’s caught his breath, sliding the hand that had been around his wrist up his arm until it’s parallel with his other hand on Calum's shoulder. He tugs him down towards him weakly, and Calum goes easily, allowing Michael to pull their bodies together so they can kiss. 

It’s lazy and sloppy, Michael too exhausted to put any more effort into it than he already is, but Calum can tell that Michael’s giving everything he can, and that he needs to be kissing him right now. His hand is gripping Calum’s neck to keep him in place, and he doesn’t let Calum move away once their lips break apart. 

“Cal, please. I’m ready,” he begs, breathless and quiet with his eyes closed.

Calum nods, whispers out an “okay, baby” and kisses him again before he sits up. Michael gives a slight whine in protest of Calum’s absence, hands clutching him lightly until he moves too far away and his fingers trail down Calum’s chest. He frowns, like he didn’t realize that in order to move on, they’d have to momentarily part, and Calum chuckles at him. 

“I’m right here, babe,” he reassures him. Michael looks up at him with tired, pleading, vulnerable eyes and that’s when Calum sees it. 

All of the stress and exhaustion of the tour, all of the hate and the hurt, everything that’s weighing Michael down is laid out in his eyes, on full display for one brief moment. Calum’s heart clenches and his body moves of its own accord, leaning down to capture Michael’s lips in a fierce kiss. 

Michael’s hand comes up to cup his cheek and when Calum pulls away, he tilts his head to press his lips to Michael’s fingers. He takes Michael’s hand in his own and pulls it with him as he moves away from him again, so he can keep kissing it softly the whole time. Michael’s eyes sparkle with fondness for his boy. 

Calum places his hand down gently and shuffles backwards a bit, finally hooking his thumbs in the waistband of his boxers. There’s a very visible wet patch on the front of them from how long he’s been hard and leaking while trapped in the fabric. He slides them down his legs, fumbling a bit since he’s kneeling on the bed trying to pull them off. He grips Michael’s knee for support and rubs his thumb over it when Michael chuckles at him a little. 

Calum grabs the condom lying previously forgotten next to them and rolls it on quickly and even that brief contact is enough to make him groan softly and close his eyes. His hips pitch forward a bit as he wraps a hand around himself, slicking his cock up with the lube as fast as he can because he has half a mind to just fuck his fist until he comes. 

When Calum looks up again, Michael has moved the pillow out from under his hips, allowing Calum to crowd as close as possible to him. Michael smiles up at him and nods when Calum locks eyes with him, giving him the final bit of confirmation he needs. Calum places his hand on Michael’s stomach where it had been before and Michael immediately wraps his fingers around his wrist again, like he needs the comfort the contact provides. Calum understands that, because he’s grateful for Michael’s thumb rubbing against his wrist in that moment. He grips the base of his dick, shifting his weight on his knees a few times as he lines himself up with Michael’s hole, and takes a breath before he starts to push in.

A shaky sigh is forced out of him, the breath knocked from his lungs at how incredible Michael feels. Calum never is fully prepared for just how warm and tight Michael is around him, caught off guard every time. His eyes close of their own accord as he fights not to give in to desire and move too fast, free hand gripping Michael’s hip hard instead. 

Michael mewls below him, high pitched and faint as he feels himself stretching a bit more around Calum’s cock. His hand squeezes Calum’s wrist subconsciously until his boyfriend’s hips are nestled firm against his ass. They both take a minute to adjust to the feeling before Calum leans down to rest on his forearms, bracketing Michael’s head, both of them sighing softly at the slight change of angle. They’re even closer now, foreheads resting against each other’s and breaths mixing as they just gaze into each other’s eyes for a moment. 

Calum presses his lips gently to Michael’s, swallowing up the soft moan from him when he delicately pulls his hips out and pushes them forward again. The pressure on his dick is absolutely amazing, and Calum is overwhelmed by it after such a long period of neglect.

Michael is letting out the faintest little whimpers as Calum rocks into him. He’s going slow, being as gentle as he can because he knows it’s what Michael needs right now. Calum needs it too, if he’s being honest. Michael’s distress has taken its toll on him as well, and he’s only just now realizing how much it’s affected him.

Michael repositions his hands, one coming up to grip Calum’s shoulder and bury his face in it while the other presses down insistently between Calum’s shoulder blades. He wants Calum closer to him, wants him as close as physically possible, even though they can’t really get any closer than they are now. Calum understands what Michael wants though, understands that he needs it to be like this, because he needs it too at the moment. He moves his lips to the juncture of Michael’s neck and shoulder, just keeping them there so they drag softly against Michael’s skin as he moves. 

Michael starts to roll his own hips up against Calum’s, fueled by the desperate need to feel every inch of Calum’s cock dragging in and out of him. Calum picks up his pace slightly, sensing Michael’s need, and the boy moans brokenly underneath him. His cock rubs against Calum’s stomach where it’s trapped between their torsos, and it makes Michael’s breath pick up, his little gasps punctuated by feeble whimpers. 

His head falls back, eyes shut tight and Calum kisses up his exposed neck, lips dragging softly over the bruises there. Michael threads his fingers through Calum’s hair, digging his heels into Calum’s lower back at the same time. It pushes Calum’s cock deeper inside him and a whine bursts from his lips when Calum hits his prostate. Calum thrusts again, trying to hit the spot, but it’s hard to move when they’re this close together. He wants to hear Michael make that beautiful noise again, so he kisses his neck one final time before he pulls away and unhooks Michael’s legs from around his waist. 

Michael’s eyes shoot open as soon as Calum moves away, looking up at him with confusion and worry. A whine of protest bubbles up in his throat but before he can voice it, Calum is shushing him gently and rubbing a thumb across his hipbone. He slides his hand under Michael’s right thigh and bends it so that his leg is lifted in the air, high enough for Calum to easily grab his calf and place Michael’s leg on his shoulder. His fingers trail up his thigh to wrap firmly around his ankle, gripping it tightly as he gives an experimental thrust forward. Michael’s huge gasp sounds clear throughout the room, followed quickly by a strangled whimper. 

Calum picks up the rhythm he’d had before, hips still moving gently so as not to hurt Michael. Michael hooks his left leg around Calum’s waist while his hands go to the corners of his pillow. He’s squirming restlessly below Calum, a complete mess of moans and heavy breaths caused by the new angle. Calum’s hitting his prostate with every thrust now, and Michael’s trying desperately to keep his wits about him. His hair is matted to his forehead with sweat, his entire body shaking, eyes glassy and half-lidded but still trying hard to hold Calum’s gaze. Calum has to look away then before _he_ loses his wits. 

He drops his head and his eyes fall instead to where their bodies are connected. He watches, wholly mesmerized, for a moment as Michael takes him in, over and over, so easily. He moans loudly at the sight, can’t physically not do so, and his gut twists with the familiar feeling of being right on the edge. He’s overcome with the urge to say something, let Michael know what he’s feeling in that moment, and the words pour out of his mouth nonsensically, though it’s all true.

“Fuck, Michael, you’re so fucking amazing. You’re gorgeous. Feel so fucking good, babe.” 

He rubs a hand absentmindedly over Michael’s shin as he speaks, and when Michael answers his babbling with a moan of Calum's name, he turns his head and presses a tender kiss to Michael’s ankle. 

“I love you, Michael,” he whispers before he starts to leave a trail of soft open mouthed kisses all down Michael’s leg. Calum mumbles it a few more times in between the sensual kisses and once he reaches the top of Michael’s thigh, he carefully places his leg back on the bed and leans down to kiss his torso. 

“I love you,” he says again. “I love you. I love you, Mikey. I love you,” he whispers it over and over like a mantra, into the skin of Michael’s neck, into his collarbones, into his shoulders, each time followed by a passionate kiss to wherever his lips can reach. 

No matter how many times he says it, it’s still not enough. The entire night, he’s been trying to weave it into Michael’s very being, embedding it into his skin through the dark purple bruises littering his body, leaving it in the gentle press of his lips and the delicate caress of his fingers against Michael’s skin, and he prays that Michael sees that now. He prays that Michael understands how much Calum means those three words. 

Michael’s hands splay out across Calum’s back, nails digging into the skin a little before he moves them to gently play with the hair at the nape of Calum’s neck. He closes his eyes and lets Calum’s words wash over him, choosing to lose himself in the moment. A soft sigh falls from his lips with every move of Calum’s hips against him. He can feel Calum’s hot little puffs of breath right next to his ear, can hear his breathless grunts and tiny whimpers as he thrusts into Michael, body entirely flush against his. He turns his head and presses a tender kiss to Calum’s hairline as the boy mumbles over and over that he loves him. 

“Cal,” Michael whispers softly, breathlessly, fingers tightening their grip on him a little. It’s all he can manage at this point, but he knows Calum understands exactly what he’s feeling right now, knows he understands the magnitude of it. 

Calum knows Michael would return his words a thousand times over in a heartbeat, and he’s overcome with a fierce sensation, a deep warmth spreading through him, the result of how much he _loves_ his boy. He lifts his head from Michael’s neck and looks at him, met with the boy’s breathtaking green eyes looking right at him. It’s such an intense moment that Calum can only stand to look at Michael for a few seconds before he _has_ to kiss him. He presses his lips sloppily to Michael’s, tired muscles and overwhelming need resulting in a messy kiss, but neither of them care. 

Calum reaches for Michael’s hands then, fingers sliding up his arms until they’re laced together with Michael’s in beautiful contrast, and brings them above his head. They break their kiss, resting their foreheads together and both panting heavily into the space between their mouths. Calum is trying desperately to keep up his rhythm from before, but Michael is clenching around him, pushing him closer to the edge each time, and it’s becoming increasingly difficult to keep his hips moving steadily. 

His senses are entirely occupied by Michael, who’s right there on the edge with him, gasping for breath in between high pitched whimpers. He’s gripping his hands so tight, arms straining against the pillows. His legs are hooked around Calum’s waist with his heels digging into his lower back, keeping him close because he needs it. 

Michael needs his lips only centimeters from Calum’s, needs his hands clutching his boy’s until his knuckles turn white, needs his legs wrapped around Calum’s torso in a vice grip as his back rubs softly against the sheets. 

Calum feels at peace like this, like this is where he’s meant to be, right here in Michael’s arms. 

“Cal,” Michael rushes out. He’s practically speaking into Calum’s mouth with how close they are. “‘M so close, fuck, I’m gonna—” he doesn’t finish his sentence, cut off by a moan that he can’t help.

Calum nods, squeezing Michael’s hands in lieu of actually answering him. He doesn’t think he could form any coherent words at the moment if his life depended on it, so he just peppers kisses to the corner of Michael’s mouth, to his cheek, all down his jaw for the few final thrusts it takes before Michael’s coming. 

He cries out Calum’s name weakly, shaking and whimpering in his arms as his cock twitches between their bodies and spills all over both of their fronts. Calum’s eyes dart over Michael’s features scrunched up in ecstasy, red lips parted and neck bared for him as his head falls back. He can’t take his eyes off the sight, and it makes his breath come in uneven gasps as he watches in awe. 

He closes the gap between their mouths, overcome with the urge to kiss Michael, _needs_ to be right there with him as his boy writhes in pleasure. Michael immediately returns the kiss, like the same urge is coursing through him, tongue swiping over Calum’s lips to part them and lick into his mouth. It fuels the fire burning in Calum’s stomach, sets it ablaze and then suddenly he’s coming too, eyes squeezing shut as hard as Michael is squeezing around him. His muscles tense, cries muffled by Michael’s mouth still on his, and Michael helps him through it, keeping his legs tight around Calum’s waist until he finally stops shaking above him. 

Exhaustion finally catches up with him, arms giving out as he slumps against Michael’s chest. Their lips pull away from each other but Calum immediately finds Michael’s neck and leaves the softest of kisses there. He knows he should probably move, but he loves feeling so close to his boy, their bodies entirely pressed together, still joined in the most intimate way. 

Calum eventually lifts himself, begrudgingly untangling their fingers, and gently pulls out, kissing Michael softly in apology when the movement makes him hiss a little in discomfort. He gets up off the bed, throwing away the condom and disappearing into the bathroom, coming back with a damp washcloth to clean them both up. Michael reaches for him as soon as he’s done, bringing their lips together once more and slotting their bodies against each other in the same position as before. 

It dawns on Calum that Michael kissing him was what ultimately set him off, and his love and adoration for his boy skyrockets for a moment. He kisses Michael fiercely, who eagerly kisses him back, and they keep kissing for a long time after that, long after they’ve both come down from their highs and their heavy panting has turned to soft breaths. Their lips move softly against each other’s, unhurried, peaceful. Calum’s hands come up to cup Michael’s face, while Michael gently cards his fingers through Calum’s curls. They get lost in it, in the soothing feeling of each other, until Calum pulls away and rolls over onto his back, pulling Michael right with him. 

Michael shifts until he’s situated comfortably on his side, head resting on Calum’s chest and his legs entwined with his boyfriend’s. Calum skims his fingers softly over Michael’s bare shoulder, feeling the lingering warmth beneath his skin from their bodies moving together before. They just simply lie there for a moment, holding each other, breathing quietly and tracing their fingers over each other’s skin until Calum breaks the silence. 

“Mikey?” 

Michael hums a little before tilting his head up to look at Calum.

“Are you alright?” he asks softly, almost cautiously. Michael knows what he really means, knows it’s more than just a simple question. 

The feeling had begun to creep back into him for the briefest moment, lingering between them until Calum had spoken. Michael nods his head yes, genuinely meaning it.

Calum smiles at him. “I know it’s hard, baby, but you’re not alone and you won’t ever have to be. I’m always gonna be here, alright?” he gently brushes the hair away from Michael’s forehead, and Michael’s heart swells in his chest.

“I love you,” he whispers softly. 

Calum’s grin is huge, barely containable when he whispers it back to Michael. They both lean forward to connect their lips softly, and Michael doesn’t think he’s ever felt more elated than he does now. 

It’s hard to remember it sometimes, but Michael knows that no matter how many times he falls overboard, slips into deep and dark waters, Calum will always be there to lift him back out, with a sure hand and a soft smile on his face. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading !!
> 
> Come say hi on [tumblr](http://lilacpages.tumblr.com) if ya want :)


End file.
